LisaRiolo

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from overhead.” I continue working the Sudoku puzzle from the in-flight magazine, but I’m listening, too.  For some reason this part in the flight attendant’s script always catches my attention.  “Secure your mask first before attempting to assist others with theirs.

Good, simple advice.  Easy to understand, yet, sometimes, difficult to follow.

We are taught the act of giving is good.  Selflessness is better than self-centeredness.  And somehow we begin chasing the faulty notion that we ought to prioritize the needs of others before our own.  It is misguided priorities, not our intentions of generosity, that take us off course.

If our first order of business is to act in our own best interests–we are more likely to have second and third orders of business.  If we always pay ourselves first, we’ll accumulate wealth.  Wealth, by definition, is abundance.  Having an abundance of anything makes sharing easy.  And scarcity makes it harder.  If we take that hour each morning to exercise, we’ll have the energy to make a real difference.

First secure your mask.  Make sure you’re able to breathe.  Then help others.  After that you may just find yourself learning to fly the plane.

“Don’t you know how to play Patience?”

Apparently, I did.  Just by another name: Solitaire.  The card game my mom taught me so I could play by myself.  (Just because you have brothers doesn’t mean you have participants.)

Solitaire.  The game I didn’t like much because I rarely won.  And, until the computer version came along and automated the process, the game that was 75% set-up and only 25% play.  Which is why, the other name, Patience, probably makes sense.  It required much patience to lay out all the damn cards. 

Solitaire.  I never really needed the cards to keep my alone self entertained.  I read books, sketched, read books, played with toys, read books…

Better patience, though, might have served me well over the years. In particular, patience with myself. Patience–instead of frustration or anger.  I like the idea of having enough tolerance to not only accept delays, but understand their cause.

When I’m patient I expected a delayed outcome.  When I’m impatient I expected immediate results.  Results attained through competence and focus and commitment and efficiency and perseverance.

Competence.  Focus.  Commitment.  Efficiency.  Perseverance.  A good combination for achieving success.  Why not expect this of myself, and, frankly, of others?

Yes, we should expect the best of ourselves.  The goal is to hold off with the frustration.  Give ourselves a break until we figure out why we didn’t get what we expected.  Were we competent and efficient in our efforts?  Were we focused?  Did we quit too soon (or before we even got started)?

I’m not suggesting we analyze ourselves right into excusing the failure.  Rather, just that we get some perspective on why we didn’t get the results we were expecting.  Why we didn’t–and how we might do better next time.  Guess I’ll shuffle the deck and give the game another try.

Sometimes we get stuck.  We lose momentum or focus. We get a little disenchanted with our lives.

We remind ourselves this is normal.  (For grown-ups, anyway.)  That saying about how life doesn’t always turn out how you planned seems fitting.

Thing is…

When we weren’t grown-up, we didn’t plan our lives.  The lengthy To Do lists didn’t appear until, maybe, college.  We rarely worried about How or Why.  We just imagined our ideas and expressed our “vision” in simple ways.  From Once-Upon-A-Time stories to colorful drawings to elaborate blanket forts.

Do you still engage your imagination?  Do you doodle, sing, or do whatever you did at age six?  Or are your hobbies decidely adult?  (Not those kind of “adult” hobbies!  Jeez.)  Are you doing Sudoku or photography or brewing beer?  Ok, it’s a start.  But are you really expressing your ideas without all the limitations we put on our grown-up selves?

Maybe Peter Pan was on to something.  Maybe life is a whole lot better when part of your day involves slaying dragons, walking on distant planets, or winning awards for amazing inventions.  Or, maybe, our imagination is intended to help us figure out what we really want in life.  All of those hours spent make-believing may have served a greater purpose than entertainment.  Perhaps we were learning how to figure out What Now?  What’s Next?  What’s best?

Just imagine.

The best question I received all month came during the latest Affiliate Summit conference. The amazingly insightful Ana-Maria Figueredo, aka Southbeach Annie asked, What do you do to renew yourself?  Brilliant question.  Worthy of repeating every day since.

Whether entrepreneur, executive, or currently unemployed, your performance is tied to how well you renew your energy.  You see…  most of us are maxed out.  (As are our organizations.)  And we just keep piling it on.  We’re in a perpetual state of depletion. We refer to this condition as exhaustion, burn-out, or, most likely, normal.

We’re also frustrated.  Because we’re falling short of expectation.  We’re not realizing our potential.  Not performing optimally.  Not producing what we should.  Nor yielding what we could.

When we ask Why?–the resulting analysis usually involves our plans, the mechanics of our process, and how well we’re using our resources.  Especially “time.”  How often do we seek out solutions in Time Management programs when things aren’t getting done?  Only in extreme cases of fatigue do we associate our energy with the reason behind undesired outcomes.  Yet, it’s our energy that most contributes to both failure and success.

Planning is important.  Technique and process?  Also important.  Time: super important, too.  But energy is the MOST important because it’s renewable.  We can replenish it. That’s powerful knowledge.  And developing expertise in managing energy is a powerful life skill.  You accomplish more.  You achieve better results.  It’s the performance difference.

Sound like something you want to master?  The best place to start is with Tony Schwartz.  Order his book The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal from Amazon.  (And, yes, the link is an affiliate link. Gotta practice what I preach, right?)

This book makes it into my if-going-to-be-stranded-on-a-deserted-island bag. I ordered a dozen copies last year for handing out. I’m mailing the last one from that batch to Southbeach Annie. I keep a hardback copy on my desk, not the bookshelf, and reference it often.

Check out The Energy Project also from Tony Schwartz. Watch the Video FAQs, and then actually go and read the book I recommended. (C’mon… it’s really thin.) Trust me. You’ll get tremendous value.

You’ll start performing better, too.