LisaRiolo

Yes, I know it’s mid-October, not late December.  See, my definition of a new year is my new year. It beings on my birthday, not January 1st. New Year’s Day is the calendar new year.  My birthday is in a couple of days, which is why I’m thinking about New Year resolutions.

Birthdays are a great time to create New Year Resolutions

Regardless of when we develop them, there is a simple method for creating resolutions that stick.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, I resolve to never make another New Year’s resolution again, this post isn’t written for you.  If you do make them, but they don’t stick, this post IS written for you.

If you adopt the timing I use, (i.e. birthdays) don’t expect to develop a good resolution in the five seconds you have before you “make a wish and blow out the candles!”  Good resolutions require reflection.  So, that’s the basis for your first step.

STEP 1: Schedule Quiet Time Alone to Create your Resolution.

Scheduling an appointment with yourself expresses your commitment to change.  Change is at the heart of all New Year resolutions and starts with a committed mindset.  If you’re planning to start a New Year’s resolution on the first or second day of January–you might want to block out some time during the last week of December.  Make sure to give yourself a quiet place to concentrate.

STEP 2: Describe your Future.

Fast forward in time and imagine the new and improved you.  What does life look like?  What’s different? Don’t picture a complete make-over!  Just see one thing that is better.  Write down a vivid and detailed description of what life is like, now that you’ve changed.  If you see yourself having quit smoking, imagine yourself doing activities that today include smoking but in the future do not.  For example, if you always smoke while you’re driving, picture yourself driving to work without the cigarette.  Ask yourself, over and over, what is different now that you’re not smoking?  Is there extra money in your wallet?  Does the air smell fresh and the ash tray clean?  STEP 2 works well if you focus on the many details that produce your current experience and re-create them in terms of how you’ll act in the future.

The next step requires you to formally contrast your present day self with your future self.  For a resolution to stick, you need to clearly understand the disadvantages of your today vs. the benefits of your tomorrow. STEP 3: The BEFORE & AFTER Chart. Use a T-chart and start listing out the differences between Today and the Future.  [Note: You might find it beneficial to re-visit your chart, several times, over a few day period.  Getting a refreshed perspective will help ensure you've got a comprehensive list.]

Now, circle the key items on the Today side that represent the main reasons you want to change.  This is your BEFORE list.  For example: you’re overweight, your clothes don’t fit, and you’re short of breath after a little exercise.  Next, circle the key items on the Future side that best represent what you want instead.  In the weight loss example you might imagine yourself as Fit, Healthy and comfortably wearing your favorite outfit.  This is your AFTER.

STEP 4: Create your ACTION PLAN!

The best action plan focuses entirely on what activities will produce the AFTER.  It doesn’t matter what you’re doing today or how you arrived at BEFORE.  What will make a resolution stick is figuring out what you’ll be doing in the future.  Maybe, to spend more quality time with your daughter, you’ll volunteer to coach her soccer team.  Great.  What is the To Do list that gets you standing on the side lines wearing a double zero Coach jersey and hollering “Good Job!” to your players?

Your action plan should consist of a Do, not a Don’t, list.  Focus the plan on what you’ll do to achieve your goal.  If you find yourself thinking in terms of what not to do, just link those action items to the BEFORE items on your chart.  Ultimately, your plan will consist of your future.  You’ll leave the BEFORE and the Don’t list behind.  The transition from BEFORE to AFTER, and the Action Plan, re-orients you from backward and negative thinking to forward and positive thinking.

Which leads into STEP 5: The Resolution. Review your AFTER chart, and your ACTION PLAN.  What, in essence, are you doing?  Getting healthy?  Prioritizing family?  You’re moving forward and doing something as opposed to “not” doing something.  Now, phrase your resolution in the positive, and convey a message about what you want in your life.  The smoker will resolve to Live Healthfully rather than to ‘quit smoking.’  The work-aholic will resolve to Enjoy Family Time this year.  Maybe you’ll resolve to Save More Money or Exercise Regularly.  Whatever your intent, keep your resolutions short, simple and focused forward.

Now you actually implement you plan.  You may find it useful to post your resolution in highly visible locations to remind you of your goal.  You might also want to schedule your action items in your calendar.  Signing up for dance lessons with your spouse is a pre-requisite to attending lessons–so get that action step into your daily planner prior to the sign-up deadline.  And, finally, make a habit of envisioning your AFTER until it represents the YOU of today.  Do this often and you’ll find yourself making choices that lead to the change you desire.